what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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