ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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