he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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