This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
