Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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