White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
