and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize