I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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