He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
