we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
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