you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
