That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
