Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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