Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
