I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
