I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
