Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
