he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
