so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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