Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
