Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
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you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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