Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize
