I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dignity is for republicans.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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