This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
