Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
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My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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