I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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