You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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