It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
