My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize