Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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