I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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