it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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