Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He shit in the fireplace
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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