I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
