I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
