This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
