I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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