Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize