You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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