its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
