guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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