people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize