What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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