I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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