It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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