there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
