I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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