This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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