If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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