I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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