Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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